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His refusal to love me spurred me on. I bucked against him as he was forced back, he held onto my hips, slowly pressing forward, his lips parted, he was breathing heavy. His fingers were burying themselves into my pale skin. Bruising me, digging in and leaving their mark behind, not unlike he had on my heart.
“I won’t give this to you, Abigail. I won’t ever give you what you truly want.”
I jerked his shirt open, ripping all of the buttons off. I could hear them hitting the floor. I reached up and grabbed his red tie. I wrapped it around both of my fists and pulled him to me, biting into his neck as he moaned again. He pulled back, quickly turning me away from him. He grabbed my ass and jerked it upward. He pulled my arms behind me, wrapping my wrists with his tie and securing them. I tried to look back at him. He pressed his hand against the back of my head and slid his thumb into my ass, simultaneously shoving his cock inside me without hesitation. I yelled as my face lay pressed against the wall, his hips ground against me, his thumb moving in, then out. I cried out with each forceful thrust.
“Jack—please,” I said, barely able to speak.
“This is what you wanted, let me fuck you.”
He jerked his thumb out and grabbed my arms. He pulled them back and wrapped his arm under them, lifting me up onto my tippy-toes. My hands ached as they remained bound with his tie. He slammed my body flat against the wall, my feet rose, my toes could barely touch the floor.
He was rough, unforgiving, and the harder he fucked me the more I wanted it. He slammed me against the wall, his body shoved up against me from behind. He lowered me, still thrusting upward at a furious pace. I freed my hand and I reached back and dug my nails into his thigh. He looked down at the trail of blood and moaned.
He jerked my hand up above my head. I felt the burning sensation as he cut my wrist with a small razor. He backed away from me. His eyes lit with desire. I turned to face him with blood dripping from the open wound. I looked down at it and then lifted it up to my lips. I tasted it, letting the sweet flavor soak into my tongue. It set my senses on fire. Jack parted his lips as I approached him. The words were unable to come. But he could, I could see the ache rising between his legs. He was about to explode with pleasure.
I cupped his face with both hands as he closed his eyes. He lowered before me, resting on his knees. I placed my wrist to his lips, and he drank from me. My head fell back while he fed on me without control. He drained me without mercy, because I wanted none. I wanted the brutal monster that he claimed to be. I wanted him to consume my essence and strengthen his own.
Everything started to tilt in the hallway. I lowered to my knees in front of him. His lips were covered in my blood. I could see it glistening on his skin as the light played off of it. His tongue extended, and he tasted it, savoring every drop of me. I reached down and started to stroke him. He leaned in and kissed me right before the world began to fade to black. He held me in his arms as I collapsed against him. His embrace was tender, full of gratitude.
My heartbeat slowed in my chest. Each beat making his heart grow stronger. Each moment becoming his as if I had been created for his survival.
He leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “This is how it ends.”
I woke up in a cold sweat.
My voice cracked as I yelled. “No, stop!”
I sat up and touched my chest. My phone was going off and I didn’t want to touch it. I looked around my room, searching for shadows. The dream was so vivid that it had left me in a state of euphoria. My muscles ached as the hum lingered between my legs. I lifted my wrist and touched the unbroken skin. I finally picked my phone up on the fourth ring and pressed the button.
“Jack?” I whispered.
“What?”
I let out a huge sigh of relief as Brad’s voice lingered on the other end of the line.
“Abi?”
“I—I’m sorry, I was dreaming, I just…hi.”
“If it’s a bad time we can wait, or postpone. Whatever you like.”
I sighed. “No, it isn’t bad. I’m just—what time is it?”
“It’s six.”
I rubbed my head. “Oh crap, I fell asleep, I’m so sorry. I’ll get dressed now.”
“No worries. Hey, I just wanted to know how you felt about motorcycles.”
I paused. “I’m indifferent.”
“So that means it’s okay with you? I have one.”
I shook my head. The dream still had me rattled. I looked at the sweat on my fingertips as I pulled them back from my chest. I was soaked. “Yeah—no, it’s fine. A motorcycle is fine.”
“Sweet, I’ll be there in an hour, cool?”
I cleared my throat and I blinked a couple of times. I finally nodded my head. “Okay. Yeah, yeah. I’ll be ready.”
“Are you sure that you’re okay, Abi?”
“No—I mean, yes—I'm okay.”
“Okay cool.”
He hung up as I turned and tossed my phone across the room. I covered my face with my hands. The tears flowed as Jack tried to consume me yet again.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THIS IS SPARTA
_________________________
I ended up wearing what I had worn in my dream. In fact, the entire time I was getting ready I kept looking behind me. I even checked the drawer for the wishful condom that never existed in the first place.
I looked at my phone and then called Avery, I had too. I needed for her to distract me. The dream lingered all around me, not unlike he had when we were together. It had felt so real. I reached down and placed my hand on my stomach. My muscles felt strained and my thighs still ached. The mere thought of him pressing me against the wall made my heart flutter in my chest. I pressed my thumb into the middle of my hand and squeezed it as hard as I could. It helped me concentrate.
It rang a few times. I tapped my foot on the floor, desperately hoping that she would answer, but it looked as if she wasn’t available. Sam crossed my mind right before she picked up. She was half out of breath. My eyes lit up with gratitude. It was so good to hear her voice.
“Oh my God, Avery. Awesome, I’m so glad that you’re there.”
She laughed. “Yeah, what’s wrong, honey?”
I looked around my room and bit on my nail for a second, I quickly dropped my hand and paced the floor. Each step that I took brought back another flash of memory. It made my ears ring, and I could feel a panic attack slowly ebbing its way up to the surface.
“I had this dream—this really crazy one.”
“Oh yeah? Sexy time?”
I paused and then looked up at the ceiling. “Yeah, with you know who, doing you know what.” I waved my hand in front of my face, all of a sudden I felt like I was burning up. I licked my lip, another flash of Jack infiltrated my mind. I felt my forehead and then shook my hand out to my side. My whole body felt like it was on fire.
“Sam?”
I sighed. “No, Avery, Jack Landon. We—I mean, it was so real, I remember the pain and everything.”
She laughed. “The pain? What the hell were you two doing?”
I took a slow breath and then sat down on the edge of my bed. My feet still barely touched the floor. “I—he, we—you know. It went in. I mean all of the way this time.”
“Oh for shit’s sake Abi, it went in? You mean he popped your cherry.”
I stood up. “Well, I would prefer something else, but yeah, that.”
She hesitated, and I could hear her walking across the floor in heels. It was a familiar sound that I had heard so many times before when we lived together.
I lifted my hand and rubbed my forehead. “Are you going out? I can let you go.”
“No, babes, I just got home.”
I looked at my watch. “It’s early.”
She laughed. “Afternoon delight.”
I stopped pacing. “Oh man. You just had sex with someone?”
She laughed, and I could hear the shoes fly off and hit the wood.
“Yes, Abi, some o
f us have needs.”
I stopped pacing. “No—I didn’t mean, listen. Just give me the skinny, it will help me get my mind off of this crazy dream.”
“Well, let’s see. I met him at the hospital.”
My eyebrow arched and I extended my hand. “What were you doing there?”
“Chill Abi, I was dropping off some books to the children’s ward.”
“Oh, okay.”
She hit facetime on her phone, and I pressed the button on mine. She smiled at me from the screen.
My eyes widened. “Oh my god, your hair is a mess.”
She rubbed it with one hand and winked at me. “It should be, that sex was amazeballs.”
I held the phone in my hand and looked her over. “Well, I don’t see any bite marks.”
“Oh, did you want to see that? The bite marks are a bit lower.”
The phone moved, and I held one of my hands up. I looked away. “NO! No Avery, I don’t.”
She returned to the screen and grinned at me.
“Anyway, I met him in the children’s ward, I dropped some books in the hallway and he helped me pick them up and then we went and had a drink. One drink turned into five, and we ended up back at his townhome in Manhattan.”
I moved my hair out of my eyes and behind my ear. “This all happened today?”
She nodded, lightly biting her bottom lip. “Oh yeah, and let me tell you something, he was ahhhhmazing in bed, holy hell, woman.”
I laughed. “You look like it.”
She sighed and rested her chin on her open hand. “Of course the Spartan helmet didn’t hurt.”
I narrowed my eyes. “The what?”
She raised her hands and moved them around her head. “He had this black Spartan helmet that he put on for me. It was hot.”
“Oh my God, you asked him to wear it?”
“Oh yeah, girl. It was just sitting there in his room and I pointed at it, snapped my fingers and said on, now.”
“Man.”
She sighed. “He yelled this is Sparta the whole time. I almost laughed, but it was so good. In fact, I yelled right back at him, this can be whatever the hell you want it to be!”
I placed my hand over my eyes and laughed as she stared at me.
“I love you so hard, Avery.”
“Now your turn, what was this cherry picking business with Jack?”
I bit my lip and pulled my hair up on top of my head. I wrapped it into a loose bun. “It was insane, he called me and then he was here, in my hallway. He just appeared from the shadows. After that, it was all grab this, rub that, growling, finger in the back door and blood drinking.”
Avery’s mouth lay open as I looked up at her. She nodded to me. “Wow. Wait, did you say backdoor? Like booty action?”
I nodded to her, and she winked at me. “You dirty bird.”
“I know and now I have a date, with man bun.”
She shook her head. “Man bun? WTF Abi? Who?”
“Brad, it’s a guy working on my mom’s house, Mom set me up with him and now he wants to take me out on a pre-date.”
“A pre-date? What the hell is that? And what is a man bun?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know? A test run? And it’s a,” I pointed at my hair.
“Oh, that’s sexy as hell.”
I scratched my neck and stared at her. “I—well, he is sexy, that’s the problem, and I am all revved up on Jack juice over here.”
She pointed at the phone. “If he’s testing to see if you put out, I will insert my foot into his ass, and Jack juice?” she laughed and placed her face in her hands. “Oh my God, you kill me,” she muttered from behind her half-spread fingers.
I laughed. “He’s a nice guy, Avery, I promise. I think he’s just as weirded out by this set up as I am. My mom is crazy now, I mean, really nuts. It’s her fault that I’m even in this situation with him to begin with. She’s like a persistent matchmaker. Projecting her vagina’s will on me.”
Avery giggled. “There is no pussy, only Zuul.”
I nodded. “I need to get that on a t-shirt for her. Maybe it could be her Christmas present this year.”
“Well, you take some mace and a Taser with you.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t think—”
She interrupted me. “I’m not kidding, Abi. There are worse things in this world than Jack Landon.”
“Okay. Fine, I will.”
I looked at my watch. “Oh damn it, I have to go, I have to finish getting ready, he’ll be here in like ten minutes.”
Avery kissed the screen and then stared at me. “You be safe, okay?”
I laughed. “Says the woman who took a man home and slapped a Spartan helmet on him.”
“Hey! Don’t knock it until you try it.”
“Fine. I love you.”
She smiled. “I love you too, call me afterward, I wanna hear everything.”
“I will. Bye, honey.”
“Bye, babes.”
I pressed the button, and the screen faded to black, taking Avery with it.
I laughed under my breath. “Spartan helmet…Good God, Avery.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
SEX FOR FUN
_____________________
Brad pulled out a blanket from the back of his Harley. I stood there, fiddling with the helmet on my head. He placed the blanket over his arm and then took my helmet off for me. I shook my hair out. He reached out and moved my hair from my eyes. I tried to enjoy it. He placed the black helmet on the back of his bike.
I turned and stared at the large white screen.
“I haven’t been to this drive-in in years. I’m glad that we came here.”
He smiled. “I love it here, there’s just something cool about watching a movie outside, and I love being outside anyway. The fresh air, the night sky. It rocks.” He looked up and appeared to be sincere about his love for the outdoors.
“Yeah, I do sometimes, I guess. I’m not super outdoorsy or anything. My dad and I used to do stuff, fishing—things like that, but I get it.”
“You miss him, I can tell. I would miss my dad too, I can’t imagine losing him.”
I paused, I knew that he was trying to open up a personal conversation with me, but talking to me about my dad could be like pulling teeth, even for those closest to me.
I nodded to him, unable to verbalize anything that would suffice. He didn’t press me, and I appreciated it.
He extended his hand. Non-verbally signaling me to go first. I started to walk toward the large screen. I stopped, and he carefully laid the blanket down on the grass. I looked across the field and saw other people doing the same thing. He adjusted it, making sure that it was completely flat on the lawn. I sat down. He pointed behind him.
“I’m gonna go get us some food, popcorn, and some licorice, is that okay? I can get you whatever you want.”
I nodded to him. “That’s fine, sounds good. I love them together.”
“Oh good! Do you want something to drink?” he added.
“Water would be cool.”
He smiled and walked off. I rubbed my hands across the soft blanket. This was nice, and I appreciated the thought that he put into it. The mini date was a great pre-flight check for both of us. I stretched my legs out and tapped my feet together a couple of times. I could feel the tension start to leave my body. This was a good idea. I totally needed to do this. I would have to thank my mom at some point for pushing me into it.
I heard his voice before I saw him, the sun had set and it was too dark to see anything that well yet. Then the screen lit up with the usual pre-movie ad’s and what nots. I stood up as Sam walked toward me. He was alone, which surprised me. He stopped and looked down at the blanket.
“Date?”
I glanced back toward the building that housed the projector and all of the food. “Kind of, yeah, I guess. It was a thing that my mom set me up on, well—she set me up for the festival, this just kind of happened, a pre-flight check, I gu
ess. Same guy.”
“Pre-flight?”
I shoved my hands into my back pockets and nodded to him.
“Yeah, you know. Testing the waters before the real date.”
“What is the real date supposed to be? Is that where the kissing happens?”
I blushed. “Seriously, Sam? I don’t know if I will ever kiss this guy.”
He grinned. He was just joking with me like he used to do.
I leaned to the side so that I could see behind him.
“Where’s Liv?”
He glanced behind him. “She’s here with me. I’m getting us something to eat. Do you think that the popcorn is still drenched in greasy butter?”
I laughed. “Well, if it isn’t then I’m outta here, screw that, right?”
He smiled. Everything about seeing him again was so nice and felt so familiar. I missed Sam. I missed our talks and the way he made me feel safe. He was just everything that home consisted of, wrapped into a Sam burrito of sorts. I looked down, concealing a smile. The thought of him being a burrito amused me.
“So,” I said, and he repeated me.
“So.”
I just went for it. This awkward thing between us was wearing on me. “Yeah. I, man, I missed you, Sam.” I tapped my open hand on my thigh after removing it from my jean pocket.
He smiled, glancing behind him and back to me. “I missed you too, Abi. I just—I better get the food. Liv is waiting.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll see you later, or whatever, you know. Small town.”
He nodded and started to walk away from me as Brad passed him by and returned with the food and drinks. I grinned as Sam watched us for a moment longer and then continued walking toward the building.
I hated to admit it, but I kind of wished that I was here with Sam—not on a date, but just hanging out so we could talk. Everything ended so badly in New York. I felt as if I owed him more.
Brad took a quick glance at Sam and then turned his attention back onto me. He sat down next to me on the blanket and placed the oversized bucket of popcorn between us. I shoved a handful into my mouth before I even thought about it. The dream had stressed me out and the fantasy sex had my stomach growling. Brad smiled and grabbed a handful too and shoved it into his mouth. He brushed his hands together and then chewed.