The Devil's Fire Read online

  “For the lake festival. It wasn’t my idea. It was all Mom’s vagina. That thing is a man magnet—go figure. Can you believe that it had me?”

  She laughed, placing a hand on her chin. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  She removed her hand and spoke with some excitement in her voice, “You guys have a theatre, right?”

  “Yeah, it’s not big, but we have one, and we have a drive-in.”

  “Good. When I come up we are going to see the magic.”

  I shook my head. “No, I am not going to watch Magic Mike. I don’t need two hours of—”

  She interrupted me. “Half-naked Channing Tatum? Hell yeah you do, girl. Who doesn’t?”

  I wrapped a long piece of my hair around my index finger. “Well, I’m not sure if I have an argument for that.”

  “Damn straight you don’t, listen I have to go honey. I have a conference call on skype in like an hour, and I have to do my hair.”

  “How is the new job going?”

  She grinned. “I like it. Charity work is something I always wanted to do. I feel like I’m doing something good, ya know? Plus it annoys my parents, so it’s a win-win.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Avery.” Then I grinned. “Well, if it helps, I’m proud of you.”

  She kissed the screen. “I’m proud of you too for leaving and clearing your head. You needed this, Abi. You did, and I didn’t mean to act like a bitch, but I love you—and I’m nosey. I don’t like being out of the loop.”

  I nodded to her. “Well, I should have told you, but thank you. You know that I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

  She looked at her watch. “Oh hell, I gotta go.” She winked at me. “And I know that you wouldn’t.”

  I blew her a kiss, and the screen went black. I pressed the button and dropped the phone on the bed. I flinched as I heard a knock on my door. I turned to see Brad standing there. I stood up and adjusted my shirt while he looked around the room. I swear he had seen my room more than anyone else in the world had by now. It wasn’t like I ever had boys up here when I was growing up. My dad would have tossed them out of my window.

  He pointed behind him. “Listen, I know that you were put on the spot back there. We don’t have to do the festival thing if you don’t want to. I won’t be mad.”

  I hesitated, but then I thought about everything. Jack, Sam, Liv. How everyone seemed to be moving forward while I remained stuck in one spot. It had to end. The only way that it would is if I put my life into gear and allowed it to happen.

  I pushed a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and then placed my hands on my hips. “No—I would love to go with you,” I added a reassuring nod just to drive it home with him that I didn’t feel obligated.

  His grin told me that he was happy. “Well, how about we do a pre-date run, to test the waters.”

  I tilted my head. “A what?”

  He laughed, lifting his beautifully tattooed arm up and running his hand through his hair, some of it fell into his eyes. He tucked it behind his ear and then shoved his hands into his pockets. He lifted his head and let his innocent expression speak for itself. I doubted the validity of that. He was too cute to be innocent and to good at working in the sly advances to not know about women. I couldn’t help but enjoy his flirtatious nature, even though I was trying my best to resist it. It was nice to have someone look at me like that, even if it was only for the moment and not forever.

  I’m not looking for a forever. Not yet.

  He spoke, his voice sounded a little nervous, “Would you like to go see a movie tonight? My treat.”

  I took a breath and then nodded to him. “Sure. Yeah. Okay, that sounds cool.”

  He removed his hands from his pockets and crossed his arms over his chest. Suddenly he shed the insecurity and spoke with more confidence. “Okay, cool. Seven fine with you? I can pick you up here.”

  “Yeah, that’s perfect.”

  “Great.”

  I glanced at the window and then back at him. “Great. I’ll see you tonight, then. Seven o’clock?”

  He grinned and backed out of my doorway and disappeared into the hallway. I turned and tapped my finger against my lips. “Well, crap—I have a date,” I whispered to myself.

  CHAPTER SIX

  THIS IS HOW IT ENDS

  _________________________

  I rolled on my side and hugged my pillow. Thoughts about Brad and this date, or pre-date, as he had called it, ran through my mind. What would I wear? What would I say? What would I do if he tried to kiss me? Oh my God, he will try to kiss me, right? Kissing is pretty standard, but what if his hands wander? What then?

  I tried to calm myself down. It was ridiculous to get this worked up over something that could be so innocent in nature. Brad could be innocent, couldn’t he? Oh crap, no he isn’t. Who am I kidding?

  It had been forever since I had been on a date. I honestly didn’t consider anything that Jack and I did to be dating, as such. It was more like a freefall from a high building or a mountain top. Scary as hell and completely unpredictable. The thought of him crept back into my mind. It was sobering as ever.

  I guess my last real date had been with Sam at prom. Wow, that went great. That night had been awkward at best. I can’t even remember why I agreed to get into the backseat of his car. Maybe it was just the excitement of being at prom, or maybe I liked him enough to want to do it. I couldn’t even remember. All I know is that I had tucked and rolled, like my dad taught me to do and ended up outside his car in the dirt.

  Sam felt horrible about everything that night. I could tell by the expression on his face when I ended up on the ground in my beautiful dress. We had made out for a while in the back of his car before his hand lowered and I freaked out. I could still remember him leaning out of the open door, half out of breath, and his lips were swollen from the kissing marathon that we had embarked on together. He was such a good kisser, that I do remember very well.

  All he could do was ask me if I was okay. I stood up and dusted myself off. I remember that I gave him the thumbs up. It was so lame of me to do that. I should have talked to him, but I started walking and I refused to get back into the car even though he repeatedly asked me to. He drove slowly next to me until we reached my house. At that point I ran up the sidewalk and didn’t talk to him again until I ran into him in New York City, at the Mirror Gazette.

  I still feel bad about it. I should have talked to him, told him that it wasn’t him, it was me.

  Sam is so hard to explain anyway, as far as my emotions go. I love him as a friend, but the thought of being without him hurts me as if he may mean more to me—but I don’t feel romantic about him at all. I closed my eyes and tried to beat back all of this nonsense in my head.

  Being home again had provided some badly needed distractions. But this date was weighing heavy on me. It wasn’t cheating when I knew that Jack was gone, but for some reason it felt all wrong. Maybe it was too soon after him, or not enough to make me completely forget. I wasn’t even sure.

  All that I did know is that with the lack of tears came the next stage of my grieving, the endless dissection of everything. It had begun.

  I couldn’t dismiss all of the things that had been said and done. How Jack had told me from the beginning that he couldn’t understand love and yet he had muttered the words to Rose as I watched on in horror.

  I pushed my face into the pillow. The memory hurt just as much as it did the night that it had happened. That’s the beauty and destructive nature of submission. It seems to never end, and I know in my heart that no one will push me like Jack did. That alone held me in place, and may do so forever, regardless of what else happens around me.

  My mom was a shining example of how well we seem to be able to let go.

  I attempted to focus on anything but him. No matter what I did he was always lurking in the shadows. I drifted off to sleep somewhere between love and hate, pain and happiness, relief and sheer torment.


  I stood in front of the mirror in my dark skinny jeans and my red lace bra. I turned to one side, then the other. I stared at my flat stomach, gently touching my skin and feeling the warmth coming off of me. I sighed and it echoed in my ears.

  I walked over to my open suitcase and pulled out a red shirt that dipped in the front and the back. The material was delicate in nature. It felt so soft against my skin. I moved it in between my fingers and thumb, eyeing it as it reacted like water in my hand. I couldn’t remember where it came from. Was it Avery’s? Had I accidentally tossed it into my suitcase when I was packing in such a hurry? None of it mattered as I continued to gently caress it. It felt so seductive.

  I hesitated for a moment longer than I needed to. Finally, I slid it on and pulled my long hair out from underneath it. I turned to look in the mirror. I looked different, I felt different, like something had changed in me.

  I looked down, and my nails were painted in a dark red polish, the color matched my shirt. I narrowed my eyes and thought about it. When did I paint my nails red? I shook my head, it didn’t matter. The only thing that I needed to focus on was my date with Brad.

  I walked into my bathroom and picked up my large curling iron. I carefully curled my hair, letting the long ringlets cascade down over my shoulders and back. I leaned up and put on my mascara and then topped it off with some red lipstick.

  I stepped back and sighed. I looked nice. I was happy that my hair decided to cooperate with me. I walked out and grabbed my phone, along with my small flat black wallet that housed my credit card and my I.D. I had shed the large purses after graduation. There was just no need to carry so much on me anymore.

  I needed to shed a lot of things in my life.

  I slid the wallet into my back pocket and then my phone into the other. I walked to the door and paused, turning back and running to the bedside table. I opened the drawer and eyed the wishful condom in it. I bit my lip and grabbed it. You never know how things will go, I guess. It wasn’t like I planned on anything happening with Brad, but then again, maybe Avery is right, maybe I should get this over with and move on.

  Fix my condition so that the rest of my life could fall into place.

  I heard whispering in the room, like a voice on the wind. It bounced all around me and then settled into my right ear. I swear that I heard the words “please—don’t”. I turned, and no one was there. I tapped the condom on my fingers, thinking about Brad and how he wasn’t what I dreamed of, but fairy tales are told to children, they are not for adults. It was such a harsh reality for me now.

  I closed my hand around it and quickly tossed it back in the drawer like a live grenade. I may be losing my mind here. I had preserved this gift for so long and to just frivolously give it away would be a waste. Wouldn’t it?

  I bit my lip and opened the drawer back up, grabbing the condom and sliding it into my pocket.

  I turned and quickly walked out of my room and into the hallway. My phone went off in my back pocket, I pulled it out. I was excited and I expected to hear Brad’s voice on the other end of the line.

  I placed it to my ear, grinning, and then I stopped dead, almost tripping on the wood beneath my feet as his voice rose up like a phoenix out of the ashes. The hallway stretched out on either side of me. Elongating off into the distance.

  “Abigail.”

  I leaned my back against the wall and slid down it until my butt rested on the wood floor.

  “Jack, please leave me alone,” I whispered into the phone.

  “Don’t do this,” he said quietly. His tone was full of remorse. I could feel it wash over me.

  I parted my lips. They trembled. I couldn’t help it.

  “Why? Why do you do this to me, Jack? Just when I think that you may be gone for good.”

  “Say that you hate me, Abigail. Set me free.”

  I lifted my chin, and I saw a shadowy figure in my hallway. I pushed myself upward, bracing my back against the wall. The phone slid from my hand and hit the floor.

  Jack stepped forward, his body escaping the shadows and entering the dim light from the hallway lamp that sat on the small table pressed against the wall next to me. I could see that he was dressed in a black suit, white shirt and red tie. I gasped. He tossed his phone. It slid across the wood and stopped at my feet. I looked down and could see that it wasn’t even turned on.

  “What are you—” I tried to ask, but he lunged toward me.

  His lips crashed against my own. His hand slid behind my head while his tongue snaked its way into my mouth. Twisting and turning, setting every one of my senses on fire. I moaned as he pressed his body against me. He trembled, I could feel his energy coursing through him, begging for release, desperately looking for an outlet in me. I would bitterly provide it to him, as always. Even now I couldn’t deny him. I wasn’t sure if I ever could.

  He lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. I could feel his torment, hard and twitching between my legs. Calling out to me, begging even. My heartbeat sped up with each thrust, each movement, each treacherous caress. He owned me so quickly, and yet the anger in me stood at bay. I couldn’t depend on my logic to save me, to push him away and stop him from dragging me deeper and deeper into the abyss that was our love.

  His lure was enough. It had always been everything that I needed. It drew me into his lair, entangle me in his web of lies. I would always come willingly, without a single regret.

  The kisses came hard and fast. His tongue continued to invade my lips. It wasn’t searching for anything. It had come to conquer me. Wet and fully erect. I tried to touch his face, but he didn’t want any compassion. He didn’t come here seeking salvation. He wanted to submerge himself in sin and take me right along with him.

  I hissed as he jerked my head back with a fistful of my hair wrapped around his hand, his tongue fully extended, rigid and fiery hot as it ran the length of my neck. Suddenly my jeans were gone, the barrier between us had disappeared. He pulled my panties aside and positioned himself, toying with me at first, moving the tip of his erect member against my wetness. Then he leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Surrender to me, give me everything, Abigail.”

  I gritted my teeth and cried out his name, “Jack.” He held me up against the wall, wrapping his arms under my thighs. The muscles in my legs ached, they begged for mercy, but he wouldn’t show me any. “ I can’t breathe, baby. I can’t, wait—wait!” I pressed on his rock hard stomach, but it was no use. He thrust upward, guiding his ample girth into me with his hand squeezing his shaft along the way. Finally, he lay buried inside of me. Fully submerged. He cried out like an animal, throwing his head backward as I tightened around him. My whole body trembled, my lips parted—no words would come. He had ripped it all away. Peeling my layers back and exposing me once and for all.

  Finally, I stole enough air to speak.

  I hissed at him. “Take it from me, take everything that you can, you fucking monster. Take it!”

  I gladly accepted it all, every bit that he had to offer. The pain, the suffering, a sea full of tears—allowing him to consume me. I wanted nothing more, but for this moment to last forever. I wanted the pain to overshadow the loss. The pain would see me through to the other side. The pain had always been the key to everything. I just needed to embrace it as my own and stop running. There was no place to hide. It would always find me.

  He would always find me.

  I wanted nothing more than to be frozen in this immortal embrace forever.

  Forever his as he is forever mine.

  He moved upward, holding me steady as I tried to breathe. He owned me. I belonged to him. I willingly succumbed to his every need. He pressed his chin against mine, moving my head back. My lips parted.

  He nodded to me. “Come on baby, let me break you,” he said.

  I grimaced. “Never,” he smiled, enjoying my defiance.

  The pain was so exquisite, all that I had hoped for and more. He carefully watched my expression, gauging my reaction to him as
he shoved himself deeper inside of me with each thrust of his hips.

  In and out.

  In and out.

  Each movement was opening me up more, each thrust painful, each time easier than the last.

  I reached up and slammed my hands against the wall. He growled in my ear, pressing harder, getting into a slow rhythm. His hips rotated ever so slightly. Bone on bone, grinding hard against me.

  “I hate you. I hate you,” I whispered. He nodded to me.

  “Yes, I can feel it.” He looked down to watch his glistening shaft move in and out of me. He rotated his hips, his muscles flexed in his jaw. I dug my nails into the wall behind me.

  My next breath was broken, and he sighed, burying his face into my chest, cupping my breast in his hand and squeezing while his teeth bit down and pulled on my erect nipple. It sent shockwaves of pain rushing downward, cascading over my sweat drenched stomach and meeting up with the constant throbbing between my legs.

  His girth was quickly pushing me further and further into total submission. It begged for release, begged for more. His domination was absolute. Each thrust took more of me, consuming the darkest parts that I had hidden away from myself. I reached behind him and dug my nails into his back, cutting into his skin. He hissed, pulling his lips away from my nipple and gritting his teeth. He closed his eyes as I continued to cut into him.

  “Yes, baby, yes,” he whispered as he thrust upward, banging me against the wall. I could feel the pain in my shoulders and back. He thrust again and again, pushing his arms apart and spreading my legs even wider. I looked him in the eye and spoke with such venomous hatred.

  “Is that all that you got?”

  I could see his eyes darken, fully consumed in black. His demonic nature was taking over. He spoke, his voice was deeper now, and it vibrated through me.

  “Come on me. Now, Abigail—now.”

  “Say that you love me, Jack. Say it!”

  I felt the orgasm wrap itself around me like a giant black snake. It stole my breath, stopped my heart, blinding me to everything. Just like Jack, always Jack.