13 Ways to Midnight (The Midnight Saga) Read online

  “Don’t talk,” I spoke quietly, then I leaned in and kissed his lips. He didn’t return the favor until he let out a groan and wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in. I moaned at his mouth feeling every inch of him against me. His body was rock hard, and the chill made me shudder. I wanted nothing more than for him to take full control of me and this situation, but I felt like he was intentionally holding back. Then he rolled us over and rested on top of me. I sucked in my breath as his gentle kisses traced my chin, caressing me in short bursts of passion, then his swollen lips rested on my neck. I could feel the humming of my heart beat right beneath the surface of my skin.

  “I want to bite you so badly.”

  “Please.” I choked out as my body tensed up.

  He leaned in, at first the soft caress of his mouth mesmerized me, then I pulled my legs up to my side and let out a loud moan, digging my nails into his back when he opened his mouth and bit into the side of my neck. The pressure increased, and his whole body trembled. His grip tightened. Each moment becoming increasingly desperate and intense.

  His name poured out me. “Thorn, Thorn.”

  He growled. I raised my arms up above my head and arched my back. His free hand lowered to my stomach, and he fingered at the bottom of my tank top. I could feel his hand slide underneath, pressing upward.

  Suddenly I felt the panic rising in me. If this was going to happen, then I wanted to come clean and tell him what I had done. I wanted no secrets between us. “I took your spell bag from Star.”

  He stopped and looked at me.

  “What did you say?”

  I cleared my throat. “I, well, I went to The Red Rose, and I told her that you asked me to pick it up for you.”

  “Why would you do that?” His eyes narrowed.

  “It was wrong, but before this happens, I mean, whatever is going to happen here tonight, I just needed to tell you. I needed to tell you the truth because it was wrong. I shouldn’t have done it, but I did.” I said, and he shook his head as I glanced over at him. He sat up and made it to his feet. He grabbed his shirt and put it on in a desperate rush. I could see his hands shaking as he fumbled with the buttons. I sat up and felt dizzy, so I had to ball my fists against the floor at my sides.

  “Thorn, please.” I teetered on the edge of reason then I blurted it out.

  “I love you.”

  The words fell right out of me without much effort at all. I was in shock, but there was no turning back now. I needed him to hear it, and all I could hope for was to hear the same words repeated back to me.

  “What?” he asked.

  I shook my head. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. “I…” he interrupted me as he looked me over.

  “I thought I could do this, but I can’t.”

  I took a step toward him. “Why?”

  He laughed at me. His laughter hurt like a knife tearing through my chest.

  “You’re so naïve. It makes me feel bad for you, Echo.”

  “What do you mean?” I held myself up by sheer stubborn will. Otherwise, his harsh tone and words would have buckled me.

  He grabbed his shirt and put it on, buttoning it up and shaking his head. “You just had to make this more than it had to be, didn’t you?”

  I felt the cold air all around me and the sudden separation from him. The emptiness started to spread in my chest, engulfing my heart and making my stomach churn.

  “I said I was sorry. Please, Thorn.”

  He looked up at me and sighed. “Love? Are you serious? How long have we known each other?”

  “I shouldn’t have said it, it was a mistake and I shouldn’t have gone to her and lied like I did but I was curious, and I couldn’t help myself.”

  He let his eyes run down my body, but for the first time, it felt like he was disgusted with me. He had switched from loving to hateful in a matter of seconds, and it was destroying me.

  “I get it, I do. I mean, look at me…and look at you. So ridiculous, and your obsession with vampires? You let me bite you, Echo. I was willing to go along with it, with your little fantasy, so that I could, well.”

  “But you took me to see your mother,” I said through blurry eyes.

  He let out a short laugh. “How many times has that worked for me? Let’s see, too many to count.”

  That was another nail in the coffin. Now he was digging into the worst part of me. His voice echoed in my mind, and I felt lightheaded. I found myself staring down at the floor in shame. His feet came into view, and I had to look up at him with tears in my eyes. He tilted his head.

  He paused, choosing his words carefully. “It was a dare.” He whispered.

  And that was it.

  I gasped, backing away like he was poisonous snake about to strike, but his darkness was already spreading through me, into every crack, every weak spot, every lonely space that Midnight had left behind.

  He reached down and grabbed my wrist, staring at the swan. Then he let it go.

  “You can keep it.”

  He blew past me and down the hallway. I stood there, playing with the bracelet like a child. I quickly tore it from my wrist and tossed it across the atrium. It buried itself deep in the roses.

  I touched my chest, hoping that my heart would slow down before it exploded, but I would almost prefer it over the deep fissure making its way down the center of it, breaking it in two.

  “No, no, no, it couldn’t be.” I choked out as I sobbed uncontrollably.

  37

  A terrible storm had ripped through Port Royal, much worse than any I had seen so far, but it paled in comparison to the one ripping through my heart. I sat in the chair and felt stuck in place. The tears had come, but now all that was left was the silent gasp here and there as I tried to collect myself.

  My aunt returned home late, much later than I expected. I cleared my throat when she made her way to the stairs, whether conscious or not, I didn’t want to be alone. She walked to the edge of the doorway and peered in.

  “Echo? Is that you, honey?”

  I looked at her, and she immediately rushed in and knelt down in front of me, taking my hand and holding it in hers. I wanted so badly to tell her that I had nearly offered myself to him and he had finally told me what I feared all along. That he never cared for me at all.

  He was right. I was naive. I was foolish to think that someone like him would want me.

  I hate myself as much as I hate him.

  She leaned in and touched my cheek; it was still hot from my uncontrollable sobbing.

  “You were right,” I said in a half whisper. Her eyes inspected me and then the sorrow set in. She cupped my face, and I started to cry again. I couldn’t help myself. She took me in her arms as I slumped to the floor and she rocked me back and forth.

  “Oh, baby. Tell me what happened.”

  I shook my head, and she made me rest on my knees. “Did he hurt you?” she asked.

  I took a short staggered breath.

  “I will kill him.” She blurted out.

  I had to grab her hand to keep her in place.

  “It was me, all me, Aunt Luna. I, I should have known. I’m so stupid.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “You tell me what happened.”

  “I…” I paused. “Yes?” she asked again as her voice got louder.

  “I told him I loved him.” I wanted to add that I had also confessed as to what I had done. But I just couldn’t. I was ashamed.

  She let out a huge sigh, and I looked down at my hands as I wrung them. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that we were in the midst of getting further, well you know, when I said it. She would freak out, I just knew it, so I kept it as PG13 as possible and just shared the horrible words I had used to make what could have been the most incredible night of my life into a nightmare.

  But should I b
e upset? Wasn’t it better to know that he didn’t care about me the way I cared about him? The sad part is, I almost wished that I didn’t know. I wished that I could live in the fantasy just a little while longer.

  Pathetic, I know.

  “Oh, sweetie!” She hugged me, and I felt her hand rub the middle of my back. I hugged her hard, burying my face in her shoulder. “That’ll do it.”

  “Do what?” I asked.

  “Run a Vega right off the porch.” She added.

  She leaned back and held my arms. “Love, what a beautiful disaster for us, no?”

  I bit my lip and wiped the tears away with the side of my hand. “There’s nothing beautiful about it. I hate him. I hate myself, too, for letting myself believe that he could…”

  She kissed me on the forehead, and I closed my eyes. She leaned back and tilted her head.

  “You are so young, Echo. You have so much to experience in life. Port Royal isn’t a place you have to call home; it’s just part of the journey, and what a journey it’ll be.” She sounded relieved; I wished that I could feel that way, but even now, with Thorn’s harsh words tearing through me, I found myself missing him. Again, pathetic.

  “I know,” I whispered. I was so exhausted from crying, and I felt like a fool. Nothing had turned out the way I hoped it would when Thorn showed up at my door.

  Nothing would ever be the same again.

  I woke up on the couch wrapped in a fluffy blanket. The TV was still on, and I wiped my eyes and allowed them to regain control as I focused on the newscaster. I sat up as I heard the woman dressed in a nice blue pantsuit telling troubling news.

  Another girl has disappeared in the pine. A hiker. Her brother, twenty-three-year-old Brian Nelson said that he and his sister, Leslie, were hiking the western part of the forest when the storm hit, and they were separated. Local officers have begun their sweep of the area this morning. Hopes are high, but this is the fourth time, in the history of Port Royal, that a hiker has come up missing.

  The shot switched to a man who stood there wrapped in a blanket, covered in mud. His eyes looked sad, and I could relate to his loss. Something in me told me that his sister would never be found and I tried to shake it off as he spoke into the mic.

  “Leslie is an experienced climber. We’ve spent the last five years hiking every trail on the west coast, but we always wanted to come here, to Port Royal. Nothing compares to it once you reach the shoreline. The sight overlooking the ocean is amazing.” He paused and looked down as the reporter spoke in an even tone. “Do you think that your sister will be found?”

  He looked into the camera with teary eyes. “She has to be.”

  I turned when my aunt yawned. She came in with two large cups of coffee in her hands. She sat down and stared at the television while she handed me one of the cups. The delicious smell perked me up. I took a sip and winced from the heat. She blew on hers as her eyes locked onto the screen. “Be careful, honey.” She said. Her sympathetic tone both soothed and upset me. On the one hand, I enjoyed that she cared, on the other, it snapped me right back into place, and the loss of Thorn wiggled its way back into my mind. I kind of wished that my memory could be wiped clean of him forever.

  “They should level that forest and just plant a field of flowers.” She said without remorse.

  I sighed and glanced over at the TV. “And kill the trees? No. Maybe people should just not go there.”

  “You shouldn’t go there ever again.”

  I didn’t argue. I would never be there again. There was no reason for me to tempt fate twice. I guess I should consider myself lucky that I had survived it at all. I only hoped I could survive Thorn. Although he didn’t physically harm me, the damage done to my heart was devastating.

  My aunt turned the television off and pulled her legs up to her side. She looked me over.

  “What would you like to do today? You name it, and we’ll go.”

  I bit my lip. Run as far away as I could was my first thought, but I knew it wasn’t feasible.

  “I’d like to visit Mr. Jenny,” I said with hopeful ambition. I didn’t know if she’d allow it and if she said no I wouldn’t be offended. Just as I was about to give up on the notion, she chimed in.

  “I think he would really love that.”

  I grinned and took another sip of my coffee. “And while we’re out I believe that we should take a trip, out of town, maybe south to Crow’s Landing. A little sun would do you good.”

  “Yeah.” I thought about the kiss over his mother’s grave against the full moon.

  That was it.

  I needed to get up, take a shower and get out of here for the day. I couldn’t dwell on him or anything about him.

  Thorn Vega was just part of the journey.

  I have to keep telling myself that until it sinks in.

  I have to.

  38

  I stood inside the elevator and held onto the bar. Small spaces make me uneasy. I guess that’s something I did inherit from my parents. It was more than apparent that small spaces or even staying in one place was virtually impossible for the two of them. Midnight had been the same way. We had lost her on many occasions. She wandered off far too many times to count.

  I know that I felt like she would stroll back into our lives at any moment with wide eyes and something shoved in her backpack. I used to revel in the treasures that they all collected right up until the greatest treasure was stolen away from us.

  Her.

  I blinked as the door dinged and the elevator stopped. My aunt strolled through the open doors just as they allowed her enough room to squeeze her small shoulders in between them. I followed, and the smell of the hospital engulfed my senses. I looked up at the fluorescent lighting and blinked a couple of times, trying to ignore the splintering light and dull ringing in my ears.

  I fingered at the bottle in my pocket. I think it was time to start taking them again. Besides, I didn’t want to see him, even in my dreams.

  My aunt stopped in front of a door and turned back to grin at me.

  “Now, I need you to prepare yourself.” She said while she leaned toward me. Her hand held firm on the door handle, and I narrowed my eyes.

  “For what?” I asked.

  “Well, he’s still recovering.”

  I shook my head. “I thought you said he was better.”

  “Oh, he is. Trust me, he is, but he has lapses here and there, of memory, so if he says something that seems odd, just know it will pass. It’s nothing.”

  I nodded to her as she opened the door and I stood there trying to focus on the dark room. The lights were out, and the curtains were drawn. She walked in, and I followed, then she closed the door behind me. I could see a figure on the bed, curled up on its side.

  My aunt walked to the window and opened the curtains. Mr. Jenny rolled to the other side with a hissing noise. I could see the bruising on his wrists and the white tag with his name typed on it. He muttered something, and I stepped toward him, one foot begging the other to follow. All thoughts of my own pain seemed to dissipate as I tried to focus on him. He had his face buried in the pillow, hiding from the light.

  “James. You have a visitor.”

  He peeked out, and I spotted one pale blue eye. I stopped dead as he sat up and looked me over, cocking his head and allowing his pasty face to become completely exposed to me. He squinted, glaring at my aunt.

  “Shut them, now.”

  She sighed. “James, the doctor said you need light. Unfortunately Port Royal isn’t exactly good for that, but at least it’s something. Anything is better than the dark.”

  “I said close them!” he screamed and I flinched as she turned and jerked them shut.

  He leaned back and relaxed into the pillow. He looked terrible. His skin had lost all color, and so had his eyes. He had bruising on his wrists and arms. Some l
ooked like scratches, and I wondered if he had inflicted them on himself. His lips looked chapped from dehydration, although he was hooked up to an IV that wound its way from his left arm to the tall metal stand that sat next to his bed. There was a small monitor, and I could hear a beep every few seconds as his heart kept drudging on slow and steady. It was below average. I crossed my arms over my chest. I didn’t expect to see him like this at all.

  Obviously, I wasn’t the only one in my family who suffered from denial.

  “Come closer.” He said, and I refused to move. He laughed. “Oh, I don’t blame you. Honestly, I don’t. I must look insane.”

  I let out my breath. I had been holding it again as the sight of him shocked me. He looked like someone who was dying, yet he didn’t appear to be in any pain at all. I had seen my fair share of fevers and viruses as we traveled. Everything about him screamed plague, yet here he was, talking to me.

  “No, you look…”

  He interrupted me. “Like shit.”

  My aunt let out a snort. “James. Language.”

  He waved a hand in my direction. “She’s grown.” He paused and let his haunting eyes lower and then rise again while he looked me over. “Very grown.”

  My aunt stepped between us and started to mess with his pillow behind his head. “Behave.”

  “I am,” He said with a yellowing grin. I grimaced. Even his teeth had changed.

  She glanced back at me. “I’m sorry, they have him on powerful painkillers to counteract the cramping in his muscles.”

  I looked at his arms, and he jerked the blanket off of his legs, and I covered my mouth when all of the black bruising was exposed. I turned away, and my aunt quickly covered him up again.

  “What? See, I told you it was bad, Luna. You lied to me. I know you lie, you all lie, don’t you? Lies, lies, lies.”

  I turned back as he winked at me. “I think we should go now.” She said in sorrow.

  She started to walk away, and James grabbed her arm. She hissed as his fingers dug into her skin. “Do you hear that? Do you hear it, Luna? Listen.” He jerked her next to his cracked lips. “Listen, a heartbeat. Can you hear it? Can you?” His free hand sat suspended next to his ear, and he tapped his fingers together, mimicking the rhythm of a heartbeat.